Live Watch: Night Swim (2024)

I'm trying something new. Rather than writing a review, I'll be live-blogging my impressions as I watch Night Swim, which I know absolutely nothing about.

Spoilers, obviously.

PC versus console is like BMW versus Hyundai.

A BMW is higher quality, more powerful, will likely last longer if well maintained, and is exclusively driven by douchebags who waste money on useless shit for personal status that only other douchebags care about.

It's fitting that Clark Kent, the boy from Smallville, is now being played by a guy whose name sounds like "corn sweat."

In Quest for Camelot, why is there a sign pointing towards the "Forbidden Forest"? Is it, like, a point of interest?

"Come, see the Forbidden Forest! Except don't because... y'know."

Rewatching Smallville in HD is very illuminating. You can see exactly which actors smoked in the 2000s and which tooth they held the cigarette against.

Lana was a front-right tooth gal, while Whitney's actor was a middle-of-the-road kind of guy.

The world would be a better place if Wikipedia looked like Encarta '96.

FromSoftware should remove invasions from their next game

People who invade in FromSoft games are trolls who derive their fun from ruining other people's progress and experience, and the mechanic should be removed in future games to stop encouraging shitty Gamer behaviour. Any argument the trolls make to try and justify themselves is inherently disingenuous.

So, Metroid Dread is a really bad game, right?

Is that where we collectively landed on it? Nobody talks about it ever since it came out, as if everyone is afraid to say what they really think. The E.M.M.I.s absolutely ruined what might have otherwise been a really dull game anyways.